Reflecting on 2021
Today is January 2nd and it’s the season of transition. On social media, I’m seeing all kinds of highlights from the past year and resolutions for the new year. In this season, people seem to focus on their best selves - what they’ve accomplished and who they want to be. While it is helpful to be grateful for the past and hopeful for the future, it’s easy to feel discontent when barraged by everyone’s seemingly perfect memories and plans this time of year.
“My honest experience of 2021 cannot be summarized in a pretty 12-second Instagram reel”
I do feel a little left out because my honest experience of 2021 cannot be summarized in a pretty 12-second Instagram reel. My year was definitely a mixed bag. In the wake of my mother’s passing in the summer of 2020, I spent the first few months of 2021 hanging on for dear life. I was coming to terms with new limitations related to mental health and everything was a struggle. In April, I buckled down to study for my Principals and Practice of Engineering (PE) exam, a six month endeavor that took most of my energy and brain power. What I was trying to do most of all was pressure myself into accomplishing something during one of the darkest periods of my life. I sat for the next available exam in October and was notified that I passed in early December.
When I look back, I try to have a neutral perspective and be kind to myself. It’s amazing to realize just how much of the last year was spent studying, thinking about, or otherwise preparing for my licensing exam. In a way, 2021 feels like a lost year because of how debilitated I felt for most of it. My highlight was definitely the time of freedom in November and December around the holidays, when I was no longer studying and spent much needed time with friends and family.
On the bright side, last year was also a year of growth. I spent more time than ever focusing on mental health, I strengthened relationships with people who are close to me, and my heart healed enough to return to the pastimes I enjoy - including this blog! I have high hopes and good intentions for the year to come. Whether or not it’s picture perfect, I’m thankful for the chance to learn and explore a little bit more.
Photo by @kaileescanon